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BernieConvicted Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff, one of the biggest financial serial killers in U.S. history is at it again. Having devastated countless lives, including the lives of virtually every member of his own family, he’s now serving something like a 150-year sentence behind bars, assuring, at least in theory, that he will die in prison. Until he doesn’t, either because he partners with El Chapo, the notorious Mexican drug lord,  and breaks out, or we let him out for who knows what reason.

Now it turns out Madoff is running the cocoa franchise in his North Carolina prison. He has reportedly bought up every packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate on the grounds, paying $X per packet and then reselling it to his fellow inmates for $X+Y per packet.

This raises several questions:

Where did he get the $X to make his purchases? Has Madoff made all of his earlier investors whole? Has he paid back all of their losses, 100 cents on the dollar, with interest? If not, how does Madoff have any discretionary dollars to invest in “the market” again?

Exactly how much profit is he making as a result of being allowed to corner the prison cocoa market? And has anyone checked to see whether he really owns the packets he’s selling, that he’s not selling them twice, and what exactly is in these little packets of Jailhouse Choc? Maybe he’s already partnering with El Chapo. Do we really know Madoff’s not engaging in Crimes and Swiss-Miss Demeanors?

What is wrong with this picture? And our penal authorities? Sounds like One Flew Over the Cocoa’s Nest to me!


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