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BundysSend in the clowns. Don’t bother, my dear, they’re already here.

The Bundy Brigade to the rescue. Oh thank you, thank you, my dear.

The lunatics are running the asylum!

Whatever would we do without them? However could we do without them?

However could we save our Constitution without their strong, exemplary leadership? These self-proclaimed zealots of guns, justice and righteousness, willing to kill and be killed, so they say, to protect my freedom? (Thank you very much, but I’ll protect my own freedom, not with guns, but with words.)

My goodness gracious, however could we bring the government “tyranny” suppressing we the people to its knees without them? However could we save ourselves from all those government “terrorists”? (Now isn’t that the pot calling the kettle turquoise–you know what I meant to say, but I’m just too darn politically correct!)

Whatever would we do without them, this Bundy Bunch? However have we managed to get by these past 240 years without them, out there (in the wilderness) to protect us? (Better there than here, here being defined as anywhere other than there.)

I just don’t know how we could make it without them, I really don’t, but I’d sure love to try. Hey, who asked them? Not me! You? Really? (At least those who would be President are asking for our votes. These guys just anointed themselves.And they call our government tyrranists? How kind, especially when they so willing–if not anxious–to die to protect my freedom. Takes all kinds, I guess.)

This is why we have/need a 2nd Amendment? The founders who drafted that one must be rolling over in their graves. They’ve just set the 2nd Amendment back 240 years! These card carrying NRA buffoons (sorry, I meant members) bring new meaning to the NRA. Another wacko Waco?

Since they’re such experts in taking down tyranny and terrorists, do you think we can have them take on ISIS next, after they–these Bundy the mighty militiaists, not ISIS–first take down our government? No, you misunderstand me. I don’t want them to fight ISIS. I want them to join ISIS. That’ll take care of ISIS! We won’t need to worry any longer about what a great job our government leaders are doing on that one.

No need to worry though. They’ll be home by dinner. They were so organized for their task, they forgot to bring their snacks. True story! Check out their Facebook page. Glad to see we’re also protecting the 1st Amendment here too! (Isn’t anyone worried that these guys will be using social media to recruit self-radicalized Bundyists?)

They say they aren’t leaving that snowed in hell hole (now isn’t that an oxymoron!) they chose to occupy until they make things right. Brilliant plan. Let ’em have it. In fact, let’s borrow some of the materials we’re going to use to build that great wall between the U.S. and Mexico to keep out all those illegal aliens and instead build a fence around the building out there in the eastern snowbound Oregon wilderness they chose to occupy and help them out. That is, help keep them in. Make sure they never get to leave there. In exchange for appointing themselves to protect my interests, I’ll even send them a few dozen cases of Doritos–you know, to replenish their snacks.

I sat down to write a serious blog about these . . . dare I call them morons? I mean, in this day and age, when a bunch of self-radicalized idiots are running around with guns and ammunition, do we dare not take them seriously? But, seriously, folks, I just couldn’t come up with anything serious to say about them, these Y’allkaeda soldiers, these Yeehadists, these self-aggrandized “heroes” who will provide our humorists with enough material to last the rest of our New Year! The writers can now just dial it in and take the rest of the year off. Well, maybe not. We still have all those folks who would be our next President.

So, I really wanted to skip this one, but I couldn’t dare have y’all thinking I maybe just wasn’t keeping up with the news! Nosiree, not me! I mean, I have my reputation to maintain. 🙂

So, to wrap this one up, and while I really can’t carry a tune, let’s all sing together (with apologies to Judy Collins’ Send in the Clowns):

Isn’t it rich?                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Aren’t we a pair?                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The Brady Brigade at last on the ground.                                                                                                                                                                       The rest of us up in the air.                                                                                                                                                                                                 Where are the clowns?

Isn’t it bliss?                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Do you approve?                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Those who are tearing us up.                                                                                                                                                                                               We who can’t move.                                                                                                                                                                                                             Where are the clowns?                                                                                                                                                                                                       Send in the clowns.

Don’t you love farce?                                                                                                                                                                                                           Our fault I fear.                                                                                                                                                                                                                 They thought we want some of their fear.                                                                                                                                                                           Sorry, my dear.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   And where are the clowns?                                                                                                                                                                                                 Send in the clowns.                                                              .

Don’t bother, my dear, they’re already here. 🙁


Editor’s Note: It’s always the guns that mess things up. If the Bundy Bunch left their guns at home and did exactly what  they are now doing, no more, no less, in what demonstrably would qualify as peaceful, non-menacing, civil disobedience, they actually would have an interesting legal case in which to pursue what they are claiming in the way of alleged legal rights to this federal land. That is not to say that they would have a winner because I don’t personally think they do, but it’s a lot closer than they seem capable of articulating, at least so far, especially with all their macho gun bravado, and might require a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court to sort out. However, their guns are their own worst enemy, at least in this court of public opinion. As long as they talk like they are so far, and brandish their guns, they don’t deserve to get anywhere, and probably and hopefully won’t. Threats of gunfire simply cannot be tolerated, or rewarded. Maybe they’ll get smart, but probably not, at least not anytime soon.

  • Jane S Taber

    I am just asking about the issue of selective enforcement. Where is the tax money from Charlie Rangel and all the other Uncollected monies owed by IRS Agents?

    I am not arguing about rule of law. I just think Rule of law should apply to everyone … especially for the one in the Oval Office. I’m just saying.

    • As you suggest, selective enforcement is a really bad, typically political, thing. (Of course, most political things are really bad!) And the rule of law should apply to all equally, but, hey, I also believe in apple pie, motherhood and the American flag. 🙂

      However, where’s the selective enforcement issue here? Rangel has not been indicted, let alone tried, for his seemingly patent tax evasion. (I can’t comment on your reference to IRS agents or the President because I don’t know the facts involved.) Similarly, the Bundys haven’t been indicted or tried (yet). Until one or the other is, I don’t see any selective enforcement issues in comparing the Bundys to Rangel. The behavior of each of them has, so far, been equally unaddressed. I do note that there is no accounting for taste. Rangel has been re-elected to Congress three times since his (lack of) ethics censure by the House of Representatives in 2010. It would also not surprise me if the , win some award on the next Peoples Choice Awards.

  • Andy Pritikin

    Well, if I may counter in tongue and cheek: In 430 BC the Spartans attacked the city-state of Athens. Athens chose to use the protection of their walls as their main defense and hunkered down. The problem is that starvation and the plague set in and destroyed the city from within. Why bring this up? Well, let’s use a little of both. Let’s surround the Bundys and enclose them in their comfortable lodgings for as long as they would like. But, instead of starvation, let’s provide them with the food and snacks they desire. I am sure they have all dined at 7-11, so let’s empty a few 7-11’s and let them feed themselves. This is because I am a humanitarian. Eventually with this tactic, they will become so obese that they will not be able to get their fat fingers to pull the triggers of their guns which we will be allowed to “pry from their dead, cold fingers.” America, home of the brave, land of the large plus sizes.

    • Love it! You’re more humanitarian than I am, but, remember, I did offer to send the Bundy Bunch a case of Doritos. Down the street, the local 7-11 had them on sale.

  • Jose Sigal

    So Ronaldo, what’s the difference between these clowns and the ones in the universities who signed the petition to abolish the 1st Amendment, or in Occupy LA and other cities, etc. etc. etc.? All the same just different extremes. Welcome to the new world. What happened tocommon sense? please bring it back if still alive.

    • They all look, and sound alike to me, all extremists, just different extremes, as you say. It’s not just what happened to common sense, but what happened to common sense and to moderation. I think there’s a relationship; they have both died for much the same reason.

      You ask whether it’s gone forever. I don’t think so. I believe in the pendulum theory. I believe the pendulum swings to high in both directions, but ultimately finds its way to the balanced common sense center. But that often takes a great deal of time when measured in terms of single generations. Today, those with common sense who want common sense from others may have to be content knowing that it may return in time for their children. Or maybe their grandchildren.

  • One clown dead, seven more arrested. Hope they think it was worth it. Waiting to see who fired first, and why, but private citizens cannot be permitted to fire at police, not even to “defend” themselves. They have no more right to do that than a common bank robber.