The Bundy Brigade to the rescue. Oh thank you, thank you, my dear.
The lunatics are running the asylum!
Whatever would we do without them? However could we do without them?
However could we save our Constitution without their strong, exemplary leadership? These self-proclaimed zealots of guns, justice and righteousness, willing to kill and be killed, so they say, to protect my freedom? (Thank you very much, but I’ll protect my own freedom, not with guns, but with words.)
My goodness gracious, however could we bring the government “tyranny” suppressing we the people to its knees without them? However could we save ourselves from all those government “terrorists”? (Now isn’t that the pot calling the kettle turquoise–you know what I meant to say, but I’m just too darn politically correct!)
Whatever would we do without them, this Bundy Bunch? However have we managed to get by these past 240 years without them, out there (in the wilderness) to protect us? (Better there than here, here being defined as anywhere other than there.)
I just don’t know how we could make it without them, I really don’t, but I’d sure love to try. Hey, who asked them? Not me! You? Really? (At least those who would be President are asking for our votes. These guys just anointed themselves.And they call our government tyrranists? How kind, especially when they so willing–if not anxious–to die to protect my freedom. Takes all kinds, I guess.)
This is why we have/need a 2nd Amendment? The founders who drafted that one must be rolling over in their graves. They’ve just set the 2nd Amendment back 240 years! These card carrying NRA buffoons (sorry, I meant members) bring new meaning to the NRA. Another wacko Waco?
Since they’re such experts in taking down tyranny and terrorists, do you think we can have them take on ISIS next, after they–these Bundy the mighty militiaists, not ISIS–first take down our government? No, you misunderstand me. I don’t want them to fight ISIS. I want them to join ISIS. That’ll take care of ISIS! We won’t need to worry any longer about what a great job our government leaders are doing on that one.
No need to worry though. They’ll be home by dinner. They were so organized for their task, they forgot to bring their snacks. True story! Check out their Facebook page. Glad to see we’re also protecting the 1st Amendment here too! (Isn’t anyone worried that these guys will be using social media to recruit self-radicalized Bundyists?)
They say they aren’t leaving that snowed in hell hole (now isn’t that an oxymoron!) they chose to occupy until they make things right. Brilliant plan. Let ’em have it. In fact, let’s borrow some of the materials we’re going to use to build that great wall between the U.S. and Mexico to keep out all those illegal aliens and instead build a fence around the building out there in the eastern snowbound Oregon wilderness they chose to occupy and help them out. That is, help keep them in. Make sure they never get to leave there. In exchange for appointing themselves to protect my interests, I’ll even send them a few dozen cases of Doritos–you know, to replenish their snacks.
I sat down to write a serious blog about these . . . dare I call them morons? I mean, in this day and age, when a bunch of self-radicalized idiots are running around with guns and ammunition, do we dare not take them seriously? But, seriously, folks, I just couldn’t come up with anything serious to say about them, these Y’allkaeda soldiers, these Yeehadists, these self-aggrandized “heroes” who will provide our humorists with enough material to last the rest of our New Year! The writers can now just dial it in and take the rest of the year off. Well, maybe not. We still have all those folks who would be our next President.
So, I really wanted to skip this one, but I couldn’t dare have y’all thinking I maybe just wasn’t keeping up with the news! Nosiree, not me! I mean, I have my reputation to maintain. 🙂
So, to wrap this one up, and while I really can’t carry a tune, let’s all sing together (with apologies to Judy Collins’ Send in the Clowns):
Isn’t it rich? Aren’t we a pair? The Brady Brigade at last on the ground. The rest of us up in the air. Where are the clowns?
Isn’t it bliss? Do you approve? Those who are tearing us up. We who can’t move. Where are the clowns? Send in the clowns.
Don’t you love farce? Our fault I fear. They thought we want some of their fear. Sorry, my dear. And where are the clowns? Send in the clowns. .
Don’t bother, my dear, they’re already here. 🙁
Editor’s Note: It’s always the guns that mess things up. If the Bundy Bunch left their guns at home and did exactly what they are now doing, no more, no less, in what demonstrably would qualify as peaceful, non-menacing, civil disobedience, they actually would have an interesting legal case in which to pursue what they are claiming in the way of alleged legal rights to this federal land. That is not to say that they would have a winner because I don’t personally think they do, but it’s a lot closer than they seem capable of articulating, at least so far, especially with all their macho gun bravado, and might require a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court to sort out. However, their guns are their own worst enemy, at least in this court of public opinion. As long as they talk like they are so far, and brandish their guns, they don’t deserve to get anywhere, and probably and hopefully won’t. Threats of gunfire simply cannot be tolerated, or rewarded. Maybe they’ll get smart, but probably not, at least not anytime soon.