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eye vayHave you heard about next season’s FBI freshman class?

Word has it that the FBI is now out there aggressively recruiting them younger and younger. Specifically, signing up school kids to report any suspicious classmates to them.

So, if you’re kids spot any of their classmates claiming Allah Akbar is great, they need to immediately fire off a text to their local FBI agent letting him or her know right away.

When you think of all the possible lone wolf terrorists out there–younger and younger by the day, and shooting other school kids by the gross–this would seem to make perfectly good sense. Can we ever be too well prepared?

And what about the classmate complaining that our government representatives are . . . selfish and corrupt? Should we make sure the FBI knows who’s saying those kinds of things too?

And who the parents of these kids are?

And should we make sure the IRS has this information too?

You know. Just in case. We can never be too safe. Right?

But safe from whom? And safe from what?

Free speech? The right to assemble?

And isn’t that precisely the problem: How do we identify and stop those lone wolves without ourselves stopping the very kind of thing the lone wolves want to stop?

Scary. Because . . . I don’t have the answers. Do you?

I always thought I had all the answers. What . . . and who’s next?


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