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Dare We Use It . . . The B Word?

I have a novel idea. Well, I’m not really sure how novel it is. But let’s give it a try. Here goes.

First, I suggest we place a moratorium on Congressional investigations. And investigations of the investigations. And the investigators. And investigations of those who would investigate the investigations. And . . . hmm, I think you get the point. All investigations suspended until Congress and the President actually first get together and enact some useful bills into law. You know, the kind that actually help the country. Maybe we could agree on a formula: One investigation permitted for every useful law enacted. Useful? Don’t worry about that; I’ll decide what’s useful. And one investigation of an investigation for every three useful laws enacted.

Second, and here comes the B word. Bipartisan. In the beginning, Trump couldn’t get anywhere with the Democrats. It was all their fault. Now he can’t get anywhere with the 30 members who make up the Republican conservative caucus in the House of Representatives. (Well, as of yesterday, it’s down to 29; one of them quit because even he couldn’t stand them anymore.) I suggest that we lock the Republican conservative caucus in one room, lock the Democrats in another room, and confine Trump to going back and forth between those two rooms until Congress and the President actually come up with a useful law. For an added measure, I suggest that Twitter suspend The Donald’s twitter account until at least one useful law is enacted.

If The Donald isn’t allowed to tweet, maybe he’ll remember his so called negotiating prowess. If we don’t see at least one useful law in 30 days, we’ll set up a third room with someone who really does know how to negotiate and lock The Donald in there until he can learn how to negotiate, to be great again.

And, after all this, if we don’t have at least one useful law enacted within 60 days, we can then talk about rationing their food and water. If that doesn’t work, there’s always . . . waterboarding. Sooner or later, maybe they’ll finally get the message, remember what their job is.


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